You can't teach body language...body language reflects a persons confidence, or lack thereof...you can get more confidence, which will improve your body language, but faking body language is not easy and obvious to point out.
Spending time standing on the front drive of world class hotels early in my career, seeing and helping people from all over the world, coming and going- having fun, doing business....on the move- I think seeing all of this helped develop my ability to read body language for needs and intent. I learned to spot a man with a $100 tip in his pocket coming even before he pulled onto the front drive. I could also, identify quickly those people who felt uncomfortable with assistance, and simply getting the door was all they needed or wanted. We never wanted to have our hand out, but we always wanted to be there when the opportunity was prime for the "giving."
In high school, our head coach Danny Allie, would make sure we had the nicest uniforms he made sure we knew how to sprint to our positions. We practiced sprinting to our positions from the dugout and spent countless hours perfecting our infield-outfield pregame routine. His goal? Build our body language by improving our confidence in doing the things that other teams see before battle. We had many teams who watched us in pre-game and simply gave up...they saw our body language and immediately said to themselves, "We can't beat these guys, they are #1 in the nation," and they were right.
they say, fake it until you make it and I think that makes a ton of sense...but for those who can spot bad body language, it becomes clear and begs to ask the question.....does it take just as much if not more energy to fake something than it does to improve your own confidence? Is it just as easy to build confidence as it is fake great body language?
How does someone build confidence?
1. Show up....if you want something, you gotta show up and show your interest with by presence and body language. It is pretty hard to fake great body language when you aren't even there. When you show up, show up consistently! If you don't show up, you don't want it very much and therefor when you do show ...up you will be faking it. Think about it in dating terms....if you don't show up for a date repeatedly, are you really that interested? Dating tip: If your date doesn't show up, he/she isn't interested.
2. You also build confidence by doing something you love! When you love something you show it, naturally...there is no reason to fake great body language when you are around people and doing things you love. So many people are doing things that they don't love and then are forced to "fake" it until they make it, which almost always shows in their poor body language. The biggest way to show confidence is doing something you love every single day.
3. Prepare! Nothing builds confidence more than being prepared. If you show up and love what you are doing and come prepared, the confidence in your body language will shine! So many people want something, but don't prepare and then fail.....after failing, they beat themselves up and confidence falls faster than you can shake a stick! Prepare, practice, recite, try, try again, fail, get up, do it again....builds confidence. Are you willing to fail to prepare? Easier if you show up and love what you are doing. Think about a golfer, who plays once a year.....after scoring 120 on a top 10 resort course, this golfer beats himself up telling people how terrible he played. Hmm, so you don't show up but once a year, which probably means you don't love it.....you never prepare or practice and then you wonder why your golf performance was bad or your confidence in your game is low?
Body language is just as important in business as it is in sports. If you are in a meeting and the person "pitching" you has great body language, they could be faking it or they might actually be prepared and love what they do.....
Being able to identify the fake is important.
BB
Spending time standing on the front drive of world class hotels early in my career, seeing and helping people from all over the world, coming and going- having fun, doing business....on the move- I think seeing all of this helped develop my ability to read body language for needs and intent. I learned to spot a man with a $100 tip in his pocket coming even before he pulled onto the front drive. I could also, identify quickly those people who felt uncomfortable with assistance, and simply getting the door was all they needed or wanted. We never wanted to have our hand out, but we always wanted to be there when the opportunity was prime for the "giving."
In high school, our head coach Danny Allie, would make sure we had the nicest uniforms he made sure we knew how to sprint to our positions. We practiced sprinting to our positions from the dugout and spent countless hours perfecting our infield-outfield pregame routine. His goal? Build our body language by improving our confidence in doing the things that other teams see before battle. We had many teams who watched us in pre-game and simply gave up...they saw our body language and immediately said to themselves, "We can't beat these guys, they are #1 in the nation," and they were right.
1992 Dr. Phillips High School Panthers - #1 in Nation
they say, fake it until you make it and I think that makes a ton of sense...but for those who can spot bad body language, it becomes clear and begs to ask the question.....does it take just as much if not more energy to fake something than it does to improve your own confidence? Is it just as easy to build confidence as it is fake great body language?
How does someone build confidence?
1. Show up....if you want something, you gotta show up and show your interest with by presence and body language. It is pretty hard to fake great body language when you aren't even there. When you show up, show up consistently! If you don't show up, you don't want it very much and therefor when you do show ...up you will be faking it. Think about it in dating terms....if you don't show up for a date repeatedly, are you really that interested? Dating tip: If your date doesn't show up, he/she isn't interested.
2. You also build confidence by doing something you love! When you love something you show it, naturally...there is no reason to fake great body language when you are around people and doing things you love. So many people are doing things that they don't love and then are forced to "fake" it until they make it, which almost always shows in their poor body language. The biggest way to show confidence is doing something you love every single day.
3. Prepare! Nothing builds confidence more than being prepared. If you show up and love what you are doing and come prepared, the confidence in your body language will shine! So many people want something, but don't prepare and then fail.....after failing, they beat themselves up and confidence falls faster than you can shake a stick! Prepare, practice, recite, try, try again, fail, get up, do it again....builds confidence. Are you willing to fail to prepare? Easier if you show up and love what you are doing. Think about a golfer, who plays once a year.....after scoring 120 on a top 10 resort course, this golfer beats himself up telling people how terrible he played. Hmm, so you don't show up but once a year, which probably means you don't love it.....you never prepare or practice and then you wonder why your golf performance was bad or your confidence in your game is low?
Body language is just as important in business as it is in sports. If you are in a meeting and the person "pitching" you has great body language, they could be faking it or they might actually be prepared and love what they do.....
Being able to identify the fake is important.
BB
1 comment:
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